archiver-bot: reliably accept invites across restarts and federation races
Three problems were stacked on top of each other:
1. matrix-nio's client.join doesn't expose ?server_name=, so when our
homeserver hadn't fully processed the federation invite by the time
we turned around to join, it returned M_FORBIDDEN with no retry.
2. Even with retry, on_invite only fires once per sync delivery; if
joining failed we never tried again.
3. client.invited_rooms is populated incrementally from the persisted
next_batch, so synapse won't re-send invites that arrived in a prior
session, which means the startup loop was a no-op for stuck invites.
Add a try_join helper that calls /join/{room_id}?server_name=<inviter>
directly via _send and retries with exponential backoff, and a
fetch_pending_invites helper that does a fresh /sync (no since token)
to ask the server for the real invite set. Use both in on_invite and
in the startup loop.